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This is one of life's biggest kicks in the teeth. Especially if you didn't see it coming and it is really difficult to cope when it first happens. Your self-esteem is shot to bits, you are totally miserable and life doesn't seem to be worth a jot. Black as it may seem now, there is light at the end of the tunnel. You will get over it and life will be worth living again if you approach it with the right attitude.
Firstly, don't keep getting obsessed with it. Yes, give yourself time to mourn the passing because it is a difficult time but don't make it a full time occupation. Allow yourself a specific time when you examine the raw emotions of the situation and then pack it away and get on with your life because there is life after dumping.
Many people fall into the mistake of jumping into bed with either a favourite ex or the first person who smiles at them in a bar. Yes it is a fleeting boost to your ego, but it is not any long term solution.
Ok, unless they guy is a total rat, you have to look to yourself to understand what went wrong. Talk it over with some friends or family who you know will give you an honest appraisal of the situation, what you do not need is somebody who will not put all the blame on him because they love you. What you need is cold hard facts, however unpleasant, because you do not want to repeat the same mistakes with a new partner. Yes, there will be a new partner, even if you think that nobody can take his place.
It could be that you are always picking the wrong type of guy for a long term relationship. The ones that first attract you may be fun and exciting but as a long term prospect, they suck big time. Maybe it is your attitude that scares them away. After 4 weeks are you trying to discuss the colour of bridesmaid dresses and what you will call your fourth child?
Relationships are strange and wonderful things. sometimes stronger than rock, sometimes thin as tissue paper. It is a bit like a tug of war in that you never know how much emotional weight is on either side, but if it's not equal, someone is going to fall down.
The sad thing is, that if you try prevent it happening again by being self protective, you may just drive away the one who is right for you. If you have a good selection of friends around you and you listen, really listen, to what they think of your new guy you may prevent it happening again, at least for a long time. That is the beauty of a circle of friends, listen to the consensus, not the individuals and you should be fine.
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