Dating Safety Tips
1. Do Not Give Out Personal Information - Whether it’s via email, online chat rooms, message boards, in your personal ad, etc., do not disclose your personal information like your complete name, address, telephone number, work place, etc. And use a third party email address instead of one with your domain or work domain, too, that is easily traceable.
For example, instead of using joe@seniortimes.com , set up an email account like joe@yahoo.com or joe@hotmail.com (search "free email accounts for places like this). Preferred dating sites offer email forwarding so that members do not see private information like this. So if you are on one that differs or makes you uncomfortable, move along and click elsewhere.
2. Do Not Lie - Be up front about your age and appearance. Better to not be caught in lies later on or lead someone on falsely.
3. Be Tactful and Leary - Do not believe everything you read in posts, in emails: in general online. You could be chatting with a child or someone faking their sexual orientation. The odds are that you will probably encounter someone a tad "undesirable" from time to time, so try to use appropriate replies, using tact, or ignore the encounter, if it suits the situation.
4. Use Caution in Sharing Images - Whenever you think about sharing a digital photo online, keep in mind that it may be possible for thousands to see it on the Internet, not just one person. Plus your photo can be copied, altered with different software out there today and posted elsewhere. If you do use your image, send one that shows you with a warm smile, not a frown.
5. Ask if Unsure - Go slow like the tortoise in the race with the hare and ask questions if you are unsure how to proceed in your contact and communications. Contact the site owner or webmaster (check for contact info when you register), ask trusted friends for helpful resources, check with local authorities. Remember that old adage, "Better safe than sorry!"
6. Be careful if you decide to meet for the first date. Remember there is safety in numbers, so meet in a public place with other friends around.
7. Keep copies of communications in a file so that you can show friends or the law in case your meeting or continued contact takes a bad turn. And do report any problems and cooperate with authorities. They can get information from your computer and communications to aid in tracking down culprits in some cases. Don’t try to take matters into your own hands and stalk the culprit yourself, though. Be safe.
8. Let men instigate online and offline relationships. Men still like to pursue. Online studies show that this has proven safer, too, with Internet dating. Men should make the first email move. And women should NOT reply to men’s ads; let the men pursue. (Sorry guys!)
9. So that you don’t appear anxious or desperate or both, generally wait for a day or 24-hour period before replying. And forget about replying on weekend and holidays, at least at first, and being available via instant messaging. This is especially important for women (double standards are still around and even exist in the Internet dating scene) - you want to "appear" socially active, confident - blah, blah, blah, even if you are just home washing your hair.
10. Don’t date someone who is already married to someone else - even if that person says he or she is getting a divorce. Let the divorce happen first. Otherwise things could get ugly. And you may even have to face the spouse / ex-spouse and children down the road. So think of others, too, when even considering someone who is not single.
11. If after several emails or letters you decide to talk on the phone, keep the first call short, around 10 minutes. Plan to have to "rush" off. Your goal is to hear the person’s voice and talk a short while only, not seeming over anxious.
12. Some gents do complain that the ladies do not reply. So ladies, reply! At least say, "No, thank you." |